You are welcome here....

I started off thinking I was going to do a weight loss blog. That was too one dimensional for me - but I absolutely love some of the ones I follow! This is a typical, broad spectrum, anything goes hybrid of diary and therapy for me. You are welcome here.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Time

It is time to face the music. I feel like an addict that has hit rock bottom and can no longer live in denial. It is time to quit beating myself up and feeling like a failure when it comes to my weight. I truly feel like I have an addiction and must reach out for help. I am looking at Bariatric surgery.
I have been considering this option for years as I have watched many around me make this same decision. I keep trying to do it on my own with little or no success. Most recently, I have watched my dear friend Kim and another friend Kayce regain their lives through gastric bypass and the gastric sleeve. I am ready to join them in their success.

My biggest obstacle is not even my is fear. Fear of complications and even death. I have so much to live for. My beautiful daughters.....I don't want to die in an attempt to be thin. Having a fat mom is better than having no mom. But I am beginning to see they don't have the greatest mom I can be. My knees hurt so bad. I am tired. I don't fit on the rides and what health problems are waiting around the bend for me?

I am planning on meeting with the doctors in the next few weeks and getting the facts from their mouths. I have read and read and read online all the facts I can find and even blogs that include successes and horror stories. My family is super supportive of me, and I am finally to the point where I think I am ready to take this step.

I have a 10, 8 and 4 year old. I don't want to die. I want to be the best I can be for them. I want to live the second half of my life as active as possible and not be hindered by my size. I can't so it on my own. I need help. This blog will become my weight loss journal. It has been so many things.....and now this.

Pray for me.