Corsets, pirates, and the ride is over...

Sooooo - check out my corset!! Pretty sexxxy! My middle daughter greatly approved and even stated that I should wear it to school - everyday. Yeah - so she is the fashionista and obviously not impressed with sweat pants and t-shirts. I think hubby looks like the cover of a cheap romance novel - minus the hair blowing in the breeze.. :) We bought the corset there - and I KNOW it enhances the boobage...but had no idea to that extent - I apologize now.....

And here we have the lovely lady pirates and their captive. The Tex Ren Fest is so worth a weekend away - I highly recommend it to anyone with even an ounce of imagination and adventure in their souls. I would love to go back just to people watch - it is a hoot!


For the last pic for this post, my parents and my baby. A nice age sandwich - My oldest and closest relatives and my last baby who is turning 3 in this pic - parents are 62 and 57....and I am a nice 35 right in the middle of it all. In 15 years I will be 50 - holy mother of GOD! Hopefully it will not be a morbidly obese 50....


and that little thought leads into the last part of the title.....the ride is over. AS per my normal M.O., I have been having a BLAST for my birthday(week) and my weight loss stalled, went into reverse, and drove all over my best intentions.... Yep, gained back a few pounds and I am currently at an 18 pound weight loss and trying not to bemoan the lost last few weeks and looking at my awesome www.fridgegraph.com and thinking of where I COULD be if I had kept my head on right.....
So - I am proud of myself for today. I am planning ahead.....thinking logically, and knowing this weekend will be easy - and next weekend will be a test an require planning. You see, my hubby is taking me to see Riverdance (my second time!!), and staying at a hotel (boom chica bow wow) and yes - I am sure - a meal or two out and about........
I can do it -
It is worth it.....

Hello. My name is Shannon and I am an addict.

Yeah....so these were supposed to go at the end of the entry......still learning....
But here are a few pics of me (I am usually behind the lens for obvious reasons!)
In the Bahamas - told you my hubby encourages me to fly my freak flag!


And look below...can you pick me out?? Yes - I am the BIGGEST one on the stage competing in what I thought was a trivia games show...turned out to be a competition for Ms. Sandals Royal Bahamian and consited not of trivia, but booty shaking and chair dances...and yes, I won.....that is another entry, perhaps on fat acceptance, sympathy votes, and maybe even confidence levels.....

We will go again - and I will post side by side before and after pics. It was truly heaven on earth...and I was as big as the moon!

All the reasons why are in this picture....taken July 2009. 15 year old stepdaughter, McKenna is 8, Rhiannon is 6, and Kathrynn is 2. Jeff is 36 and I am 34. I have lost 20 pounds since this pic...and Jeff has lost 28 pounds. Before and after pics will follow when I have some "afters"!

Perception is a powerful thing. I have long perceived myself as an athlete. (NOt sure why....just have) I have often looked at a pair of size 22 pants held out in front of me and thought to myself how HUGE they look, only to put them *snugly* on and think "That doesn't look too bad...." I have acknowledged that I am bigger than most around me, and shrugged it off to being an Amazon - and relishing in it. At 5'9", I do tower over most....however, the fact that I can provide shade for 4 average individuals doesn't often come to the forefront of my brain. I have lived in denial for a loooong time.
It does not help my "condition" that I have a husband that loves every square inch of my body and can make me feel sexy and powerful, even with the lights on. While I am lucky, thus far, to have excellent blood pressure, no problems with sugar levels, and only borderline cholesterol and triglyceride levels - they are just waiting for me I am sure. I need to be honest with myself about my weight and health for the long term. I have a lot to stick around for and stay active with....my three amazing daughters. This is obviously important - and my subconscious is kicking into overtime lately with a string of vivid and heart wrenching dreams. Last nights consisted of being told I had 2 weeks to live and I cried - in my sleep - woke up with tears on my pillow - Dreamed of writing long letters to my daughters that would have to grow up with out their Mom....horrifying and not really able to type more about it as my eyes tear up....
So - back to one of the reasons I am going to write more...accountability.
I am an addict. I love carbs. Pasta, rice, potatoes, enchiladas, fried, greasy, cheesy, doughy stuff...it calls to me all day. I am an intelligent woman with a master's degree and 4.0 GPA to back that up....but stupid when it has come to my own health and that of my family.
I am MORBIDLY obese - and I am changing that. Through a change in lifestyle - not a DIET that has begin and end date. My family has started this change already and we are kicking it up another few notches. I have lost 20 pounds, Jeff 28 pounds, and the girls are visibly changing. We are teaching them "all the time" foods and "once in awhile" foods. We have already kicked ALL sodas out of the house and switched completely to brown rice and WHOLE GRAIN everything else (and that is still in small amounts). My grocery bill is high and we plan a week's worth of menus at a time to allow for the fresh veggies.
I can do this. I must do this. I know how and will make a commitment each and every day to do this....after my birthday! See! I told you - addict behavior!! Oct. 19th will mark my 35th birthday and more than a decade of being MORBIDLY obese. 15 years of being over weight. It is time.....
So...it is beginning of an end. As an addict, I know there is no end - but a journey.

Continuing to practice.....

My best friend and biggest supporter....
My 3rd and last daughter when she was 2 months old.
The Momma bear and her cubs - I am triply blessed!


My engines are revving, my tank is full, I am almost ready for blast off.....
Let me try a few more of these knobs and gadgets and clear my throat..
It's coming people...it is coming self...
break into song
*I can feel it coming in the air tonight.......**